"Routine" traffic stop--good one Bob!

Senior Driver I made a traffic stop on an elderly lady the other day for speeding on U.S. 166 Eastbound at Mile Marker 73 just East of Sedan, KS. I asked for her driver's license, registration, and proof of insurance. The lady took out the required information and handed it to me. In with the cards I was somewhat surprised (due to her advanced age) to See she had a conceal carry permit. I looked at her and ask if she had a weapon in her possession at this time. She responded that she indeed had .45 automatic in her glove Box. Something, body language, or the way she said it made me want to ask if She had any other firearms. She did admit to also having a 9mm Glock in her center console. Now I had to ask one more time if that was all, she responded once again She did have just one more, a .38 special in her purse. I then asked her what was she so afraid of? She looked me right in the eye and said, "Not a damn thing!"

Leroy & Earl

EARL AND LEROY

 

 

Earl and Leroy saw an ad in the Starkville Daily News newspaper in Starkville , Mississippi , and bought a mule for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the mule the next day. The next morning the farmer drove up and said, "Sorry, fellows, I have some bad news, the mule died last night." Earl and Leroy replied, "Well, then just give us our money back." The farmer said, "Cain't do that. I went and spent it already." They said, "OK then, just bring us the dead mule." The farmer asked, "What in the world ya'll gonna do with a dead mule?" Leroy said, "We gonna raffle him off." The farmer said, "You can't raffle off a dead mule!" Earl said, "We shor can! Heck, we don't hafta tell nobody he's dead!" A couple of weeks later, the farmer ran into Earl and Leroy at the Piggly Wiggly grocery store and asked "What'd you fellers ever do with that dead mule?" They said,"We raffled him off like we said we wuz gonna do." Leroy said,"Shucks, we sold 500 tickets fer two dollars apiece and made a profit of $998." The farmer said,"Gol dern, didn't anyone complain?" Earl said, "Well, the feller who won got upset. So we gave him his two dollars back." Earl and Leroy now work for the gub'ment. They're overseein' the Stimulus Program. There should be a new rule: Limit all U.S. politicians to two terms: One in office One in prison. Illinois already does this.

 

A lawyer and a senior citizen

A lawyer and a senior citizen are sitting  next to each other on a long flight. The lawyer is thinking that seniors   are so dumb that he could get one over on them easily .   So, the lawyer asks if the senior would like to play a fun game. The senior is tired and just wants to take a nap, so he  politely declines and tries to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists, saying that the game is a lot of fun...."I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me only $5.00. Then you ask me one, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500.00," he says. This catches the senior's attention and, to keep the lawyer quiet, he agrees to play the game. The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the Earth to the Moon?" The senior doesn't say a word, but reaches into his pocket, pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the lawyer. Now, it's the senior's turn. He asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?" The lawyer uses his laptop to search all references he can find on the Net. He sends E-mails to all the smart friends he knows; all to no avail.  After an hour of searching, he finally gives up. He wakes the senior and hands him $500.00. The senior pockets the $500.00 and goes right back to sleep. The lawyer is going nuts not knowing the answer. He wakes the senior up and asks, "Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?" The senior reaches into his pocket, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep.