A few quotes you might enjoy! (Thanks Bob!)

 

 

 

Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself, 'Lillian, you should have remained a virgin..' -   Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter) <><>    I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: - 'No good in a bed, but fine against a wall.'    - Eleanor Roosevelt    <><>    Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement..   - Mark Twain  <><>   The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible  - George Burns  <><>    Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.  - Victor Borge  <><>     Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.  - Mark Twain  <><>    By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.  - Socrates  <><>     I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.  - Groucho Marx  <><>     My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.  - Jimmy Durante  <><>    I have never  hated a man enough to give his diamonds back.  - Zsa Zsa Gabor  <><>    Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.  - Alex Levine  <><>     My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying.  - Rodney Dangerfield  <><>         Money can't buy you happiness .... But it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.  - Spike Milligan  <><>     Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was SHUT UP .  - Joe Namath  <><>     I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap.  - Bob Hope  <><>     I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it..  - W. C. Fields  <><>       We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress.   - Will Rogers   <><>    Don't worry about avoiding temptation.   As you grow older, it will avoid you.  - Winston Churchill  <><>     Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty .. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out..  - Phyllis Diller  <><>     By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere.  - Bill y Crystal  <><>        And the cardiologist's diet: -  If it tastes good spit it out.  May your troubles be less, may your blessings be more, and may nothing but happiness come through your door.