Political Jokes & Quotes

 

The problem with political jokes is they get elected.  ~Henry Cate, VII

 

 

We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office.  ~Aesop

 

 

If we got one-tenth of what was promised to us in these acceptance speeches there wouldn't be any inducement to go to heaven.  ~Will Rogers

 

 

Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber.  ~Plato

 

 

Politicians are the same all over.  They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river.  ~Nikita Khrushchev

 

 

When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I'm beginning to believe it. ~Clarence Darrow

 

 

Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you.  ~Author Unknown

 

 

If God wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates.  ~Jay Leno

 

 

Politicians are people who, when they see light at the end of the tunnel, go out and buy some more tunnel.  ~John Quinton

 

 

Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other.  ~Oscar Ameringer

 

 

I offer my opponents a bargain:  if they will stop telling lies about us, I will stop telling the truth about them.  ~Adlai Stevenson, campaign speech, 1952

 

 

A politician is a fellow who will lay down your life for his country.  ~ Texas Guinan

 

 

Any American who is prepared to run for president should automatically, by definition, be disqualified from ever doing so.  ~Gore Vidal

 

 

I have come to the conclusion that politics is too serious a matter to be left to the politicians.  ~Charles de Gaulle

 

 

Politics is supposed to be the second-oldest profession.  I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.  ~Ronald Reagan

 

 

Politics:  [Poly "many" + tics "blood-sucking parasites"]  ~Larry Hardiman

 

 

Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.  ~Doug Larson

 

 

Don't vote, it only encourages them.  ~Author Unknown

 

 

There ought to be one day -- just one -- when there is open season on senators.  ~Will Rogers